so, it’s my birthday tomorrow…

…and as we all know, that brings a level of introspection and life analysis unique only to one’s birthday. Unfortunately, the big 2-2 is not boding well for moi.

For a start, I use phrases like “moi”. Fault number 1. But, that’s minor compared to the rest.

Here lies a list of things I haven’t achieved (call it cynical, but the list of things I HAVE achieved was topped with “made some nice biscuits, burnt baking tray” so this list will be a bit more extensive).

* I have no money. I have earnt, accumatively, $69*,256.00 (according to my tax statements). I currently have $2,001.00. I received 2000 of those dollars a few days ago in my tax return. I’d really, really like to know where the other $67,256 is, cos I don’t have it, and I don’t have anything to show for it. I have a crappy car that my parents bought for me, some dubious linen and a cupboard half full of op shop clothes. Also I have headphones, they’re pretty good. And a small laptop. And, like, 5 or 6 DVDs. But taking aside christmas gifts, birthday presents etc, that does not account for all that money.
I wouldn’t mind if I’d had fun or whatever, but everything’s been kinda dull. Maybe someone’s stealing from me…yeah, that’s it.

* I have never held a job. I have had 21 (yes, 21) separate jobs, two of which I have left on good terms. The rest I sort of just…stopped turning up when I got bored.

* I’m not even close to a degree. Maybe that’s where all my money went, the four separate degrees I have attempted and not completed. It’d be nice if compiling all the effort I put in to all of them meant something, but unfortunately “Oh yeah, I did a year of Archaeology” doesn’t count for much in the real world.

* my friends all hate me . Not even kidding.

On the upside, I have my pen license, can make cheesecake and graduated most of high school (I still have an outstanding P.E assignment from year 10, maybe that’s why no one will hire me?)

Advice accepted.

* lol, 69.

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