The Centrelink Life…
September 6, 2010
So, a few people have messaged me and asked me to write something new. To the like, five of you who will read this, this is for y’all.
I haven’t written anything new because, honestly, nothing’s happened to me. I got a job in Melbourne, moved up there for 2 months and missed my boyfriend too much so I moved back to Traralgon. So, essentially, I’m right back where I started in life. Unemployed, not at school and, quite frankly, a bit fucking useless!
However, I realised today that the things I do to entertain myself through the long, hard days of not working could be of interest to, well, probably no one, but you douchebags won’t get off my back, so here goes with the meandering I’ve done to entertain myself through the centrelink life.
* Gone “down the street” in Traralgon every day consecutively, just to grab a glance at the weird autistic guy who hangs out there. I laughed at him for a bit then realised we’re in pretty much the same position, except I’m less (well, a bit less) retarded.*
* Made a house of cards then deliberately got my cat to knock it over, yelled at it and smacked it then make the house all over again.
* Developed what the doctor calls a “stress headache”, although I don’t know how stressful watching Reno 911 on DVD and eating Peanut Butter straight from the jar is.
* Eaten no less than four (4) jars of peanut butter in one (1) week.
* Watching every single episode of COPS, from start to finish.
* Terrorised the local retard community.
* Terrorised an unliked neighbour, by driving past their house and beeping and yelling at all hours of the day.**
* Terrorised local teens by driving past, beeping and yelling out “NERD”. If they’re in school uniform, I yell “What school do you go to, dickhead?”. They don’t like it.
* Dressed my cat up as a Period-Style Merchant. He did not like this. Not. At. All.
* One time, I slept for over 24 hours. I’m not even kidding.
I need a job. Except I’d be too lazy to show up.
*No seriously, he’s actually retarded and I’m pretty sure I’m OK on that front, so I have that over him.
**Actually, not all hours of the day. Just very late at night. Sucker.
Do you drink milk with that peanut butter? I imagine your mouth would get mighty uncomfortable after a while.
Who’s this autistic person? We talkin’ Grayden autistic? Or screaming and throwing things autistic?
Nah I’m allergic to milk. I’m suprisingly immune to peanut butter though, so win for me.
We’re talkin’ past Grayden autistic. Just as retarded, ‘cept this guys certifiable.